SYNABLOG: Temple Emanuel of Beverly Hills

Blurring the Lines on the Family Retreat

Traditionally, on Saturday nights it is customary to say goodbye to Shabbat with the ceremony called havdallah, the short ritual that engages all five of our senses. As we feel the warmth of the havdallah candle and smell the rich spices, the leader tastes the wine and we hear the sizzle of the flame as it is slowly extinguished.  As Shabbat ends, the havdallah blessing reminds us about the purpose of this moment: to separate kodesh from chol, the holy from the regular. 

Usually it is easy for us to determine which is which – Shabbat is holy time, the rest of the week is regular time.  The sanctuary is holy space, the street outside is regular space.  The Torah is a holy book, The Hunger Games is a regular book.  But there are also moments in our lives when the lines between the sacred and the mundane blur. It is these blurry lines between kodesh and chol that can, at times, create an even more concentrated experience of holiness.

Each year when members of our congregation head out of town on the Temple Emanuel Family Retreat, we encounter one of these experiences when the lines between the holy and the regular are blurred.  Whether it’s the intoxicating fresh air, the delight of community, or the novelty of being up at camp and away from home, every moment seems to be elevated from our regular lives.  The camp food tastes better than it should, playing outside at camp with friends is even more fun than playing in the backyard at home, and chatting with a fellow parent around a campfire is sweeter than it is in the carpool line or via text message.  These so-called regular moments become holy in this new, sacred context of family, community, nature and Shabbat.

It is intensely satisfying to take a moment out of ‘regular’ life to experience something new, different, and potentially sacred.  But of course, not every moment can be this way.  The holy, or kodesh would lose its appeal if it wasn’t balanced by the moments of regular life.  Much like we can’t experience joy without knowing pain, and we can’t have light without dark, kodesh and chol are reliant on one another.

Whether we will be attending the Family Retreat this year or not, I hope that each of us will work towards noticing the sacred moments of Shabbat this week and every week. Perhaps, we can even work to bring a little bit of the sacred into our every day: to blur the lines between kodesh and chol and let Shabbat linger a bit longer, even after the havdallah candle goes out.  

Rabbi Sara Mason-Barkin

Find The Angel Inside You And Sing It

This week marks the first yartzeit of the death of Debbie Friedman.  For those of you who may not be aware, Debbie Friedman was a prolific singer/songwriter/composer/performer/liturgist/teacher/mentor/friend.

 

A pioneer and trailblazer, Debbie Friedman’s songs guided the evolution of Jewish popular music, and liturgical music.  She brought us sounds that we could relate to in a new and for many, even deeper way.  She gave us melodies that were at once accessible, yet beautiful, singable, yet moving, “American,” yet deeply Jewish.

 

Here at Temple Emanuel, we sing at least one of her prayer melodies at every service.  The Mi Sheberach which she co-wrote with Derorah Setel.  Before this composition, the prayer for people who are ill was not really even done in services through the Reform movement.  If anything, they were “mumbled/murmered” in traditional davening style by the cantor or rabbi.  The congregation didin’t really get a voice.  But Debbie’s new musical approach, as revolutionary as it was at the time, gave the congregation the voice and the permission to sing, to pray, and to be a part of it like never before..  Joining our voices together allows our hearts to soar, our prayers to rise, and our spirits to leap in emotion…together.

 

The impact of her Mi Sheberach is so prolific that it was actually canonized in the our Movement’s most recent prayer book, Mishkan Tefilah.

 

Debbie will not be remembered just for her Mi Sheberach however.  Her catalogue of songs and prayers numbers the hundreds.  She viewed herself as a teacher, with valuable lessons packed in each melody and lyric.

 

It is the sad truth that at the young age of 59, Debbie Friedman left this world way too soon.  But her legacy remains vibrant.  Not just through the music that she wrote.  But also through the next generation of Jewish composer/songwriter/songleaders who are paving the way for the next generation.  Debbie inspired so many.  In particular is L.A based performer/songwriter Julie Silver.  In a recent conversation with the Jewish Journal, Silver said, “I learned how to song-lead just by watching her on stage, by watching her interacting with people.”

 

Song leading is a very specific art, and Friedman took it very seriously. “Every breath she took was about making that connection.”

 

Just weeks before she died, Friedman composed a new setting of Shalom Aleichem.  The piece, which thankfully was recorded on an iphone by someone who heard her sing it at HUC was really only introduced to the world after her death.  In fact, we sang it here at Emanuel right after she passed.  We will sing it again at Shabbat Unplugged on February 3.  It is hauntingly beautiful.

 

Julie Silver added,  “in Debbie’s words, ‘find the angel inside you and sing it.’ ” And that, above all else, may be why we love her so much. Her songs must be shared, and when we sing them today, they continue to ask the same of us, too — to experience what she wrote.

“This isn’t pop music,” Silver said. “It’s about faith. And it’s about keeping people alive and healthy.

On January 22, Friedman’s friends Craig Taubman and Silver will join with members of her family as well as rabbis, cantors and the Temple Isaiah choir in a program at Isaiah sponsored by Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion’s Kalsman Institute.

 

Cantor Yonah Kliger

Cantoryonah/twitter.com

Textual Advice

Recently I have been challenged to defend the texts of Judaism as relevant texts for our contemporary world. That challenge has come from bar mitzvah students, adult students, friends at parties, and my kids. For me, there is no question of relevancy, because I believe the power of our ancient texts are revealed in the conversation about the texts, a conversation that has taken place over thousands of years. The commentaries and more modern interpretations that try to uncover the meaning of a word or a phrase or a whole section of our Torah, allow my mind to make connections to life today. Last week in my 8^th grade class at the religious school, one text hit home for the kids.

 

In Pirke Avot (a section of the Mishnah), Ethics of our Fathers, chapter 5, number 10, it states that all human beings fall into four categories: “There are four kinds of human being. One says, “What is mine is mine and what is yours is yours.” That is the usual kind, although some say that is the Sodom kind (a person unwilling to help another). [The one who says] “What is mine is yours and what is yours is mine” is an ignoramus. [The one who says] “What is mine is yours and what is yours is yours” is a saint. [And the one who says] “What is mine is mine and what is yours is mine]" is a sinner."

 

The teenagers in the class began a discussion that moved from how we relate to family members, to friends and strangers, and they found themselves somewhere on this spectrum of these four kinds of people. They related stories of people they knew who acted certain ways. Some lamented that they were one of them and wished they were the other. All acknowledged that when it came to siblings – the mine/yours scenario shouldn’t count. But what was inspirational was that they really began to look at the way they acted towards their friends and family in a different way. They had never thought about life this way, and yet, when they reflected on their lives they found these categories to be true, and that they slipped in and out of each of these human tendencies throughout their lives.

 

At the end of the class I realized that there is no question the texts of Judaism can be relevant to us, but we just never know where we will find it. What is relevant to you may be different than what’s relevant to me. That’s why Judaism encourages us to study a little bit every day, so that the text that touches us and inspires us can be found. It’s a little bit like the lottery – you can’t win unless you enter – and the odds are better than winning the lottery that you will find something that touches you. Dive in, be open, it can be there for you, too.

 

Rabbi Jonathan Aaron

 

Parashat Vayehi: How Are You Living?

As our patriarch, Jacob, lies on his deathbed he looks out at his family.  He gives each of his sons a final blessing.  He takes care to choose words that describe each of his sons, and the successes and accomplishments of their lives.  For some of his sons the results are quite flattering: like Naphtali who is blessed with the speed of a deer.  For others, the results are less so: like Shimon and Levi who are chastised for their angry impulses.

The name of the Torah Portion, Vayehi literally means “and he lived.”  In this moment we see Jacob taking stock not only on how he himself lived his life, but also how his sons have been living theirs.  While Jacob knows that he does not have any more time to make different choices or new plans, his sons still have time left.  Perhaps these cryptic blessings are meant as a reminder to Jacob’s sons to assess the lives they have been living.

As American Jews, we celebrate two New Years – one religious, one secular.  This gives us multiple opportunities to check in on our on Vayehi moments – to consider how it is that we have been living, and to assess whether or not we want to continue on this path or make some adjustments. 

Whether we made ‘typical’ New Year’s Resolutions like a pledge to lose five pounds or continued in the vein of cheshbon hanefesh (an accounting of the soul) as we do on the High Holy Days, Parashat Vayehi reminds us that just one week into the new year it isn’t too early to check and see how we’re doing.  Have we already begun to slip, or are we still keeping the promises that we made to ourselves first on Rosh Hashanah, and again on New Year's Eve?

Assessing our lives, checking in on who we are and if we are living up to our best selves is not a once or twice per year responsibility.  It is upon us each day to reach our true selves, living lives that are worthy of blessing.

In the back and forth of our daily responsibilities it is important that we have these set moments to look back and review, then reflect on the changes that we make.  Let us take ownership of our Vayehi moments, sculpting lives that we can sum up in a sentence with pride.  By checking in with ourselves not once each year, or even twice each year, but regularly:  this is how we give ourselves chances to change, to grow, and to thrive.  So now that 2012 is under way and there are no more New Year’s in sight, how are you living?

Rabbi Sara Mason-Barkin

Thought for the New Year

How lucky we are. We get to reflect twice. Once for Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year, and now, when the calendar year rolls over onto the next year. It seems to me, back in September while in synagogue, each of us thought about our lives through an ethical lens. Did I live up to myself? Did I treat people correctly? Questions like that. Now, as the year 2011 comes to an end, the questions are different. I feel like I reflect less on behavior and more on events, less on how I treated people, and more on how was this year different than last, and how can next year be filled with hope for the future. And whether this was a successful and “simcha” filled year for you, or if it was filled with challenge and tragedy, our tradition offers advise concerning an approach to the new year and thinking about your life.

 

Ben Zoma, the second century sage, writes in Pirke Avot: “Who is rich? One who is happy with what one has…” Such a simple phrase, and yet, so difficult to accomplish. If this year, for you, has been a banner year, appreciate it, relish it, be happy with what has come to you. Others have worked just as hard, others have put in the effort, but did not taste the fruits of success the way you did. Be happy with what you have…If this year was the opposite, filled with strife and difficulty, take a look at your life, and understand that what you do have is worth appreciating. That life, in itself, not anything outside of it, is worthwhile, and that no matter what befell you this past year, it is only a part of the wholeness of life, and what remains, what is within your grasp, is worth holding onto.

 

As the clock works its way down this year, and that ball falls from the top of the tower in Times Square, look back on the year, look forward to the new one, and realize what Ben Zoma said, “be happy with what one has,” and move forward with hope for 2012.

Rabbi Jonathan Aaron

Lighting the Flame -- One Student at a Time

Happy Hanukkah!  As we celebrate the festival of lights and take note of the miracles of light and life all around us, I’d like to let you know about a particular “shamash” who creates a vibrant spark at Temple Emanuel.  Marnie Greenwald, 1^st grade teacher at Temple Emanuel Academy Day School, recently was the recipient of the annual Milken Family Foundation award.  Awarded to only four Southern California based, Jewish Private School teachers, the award is considered to be the preeminent award among Jewish Day School Educators.   Marnie has illuminated the lives of so many students during her tenure as a teacher.  She instills a passion for learning, and brings light to the faces and more importantly to the minds of the next generation.

The Milken Educator Awards are the nation's preeminent teacher recognition program, having honored more than 2,500 K-12 teachers, principals and specialists coast to coast with over $63 million in individual, unrestricted $25,000 awards. A total of $137 million has been devoted to the overall program, which includes powerful professional development opportunities throughout the recipients’ careers in education. Awardees are heralded for what they have achieved… and for the promise of what they will accomplish in the future.

Launched by education reform leader Lowell Milken to celebrate, and elevate, the Awards program showcases in a very public way that greatness in education must be recognized and rewarded. For a quarter-century, the Milken Educator Awards have been instrumental in communicating to parents and policymakers the proven fact that the quality of the teacher in the classroom is the most important school-based factor in determining student achievement.

In the fall, when the notifications are made during all-school assemblies—filled with cheering students, proud colleagues, an entourage of distinguished officials and the media—each new Milken Educator is caught completely by surprise. In a moment's time, they experience well-deserved acclaim and receive what Teacher Magazine hails as the "Oscars of Teaching."

Click here to see Marnie as she is notified of her award in front of the entire school http://www.mff.org/newsroom/news.taf?page=videos&init=JEA&dateYear=&vid=1211

We are all so proud of Marnie as she continues to light the path for our students, opening their minds and hearts to the world.

Cantor Yonah Kliger

Bringing Hanukkah Light with Tzedakah

It’s a religious school routine, and has been for generations. Before you get out of the car in the carpool line, you hang your head over the front seat and put out your hand. 

“I need a dollar.”
“What for?”
“For tzedakah.”

And then, inevitably, the parent opens his or her wallet, fishes out a dollar or any other spare change, and hands it over. Later, as the tzedakah-box gets passed around the classroom, the student is proud to have something to contribute.

Some parents brought this up to me recently as an issue.  They wondered if this request for tzedakah is as meaningful as it could be. Do the kids know where their tzedakah is going? Do they know that tzedakah can take forms other than money? How meaningful is it, really, to ask for a dollar while hanging over the front seat of the car? There must be a better way.

There couldn’t have been a more perfect time of year to begin this conversation. On the brink of Hanukkah, giving is on all of our minds. Without getting too swept up in the frenzy of Black Friday and Cyber Monday, we seek out ways to give meaningful gifts to family and friends. 

But of course, gift giving was never the original purpose of Hanukkah: this aspect has been amplified due to Hanukkah’s proximity to Christmas, and increased marketing efforts to consumers like us.

Presents are not a bad thing. It feels good to give to those we love. However, there is room in our tradition for adjustment: to include not only gifts for family and friends, but also gifts to those who are in need. This way, the gifts that we give and receive on Hanukkah become even more impactful when we include gifts of tzedakah.

With the help of the American Jewish World Service (AJWS) and their new educational campaign entitled ‘Where Do You Give?’, we adjusted our Hanukkah Hagigah this year to include an emphasis on tzedakah. Together, parents and children made lists of the gifts that they have in their lives. With everything ranging from ‘X-Box’ and ‘friends,’ to ‘food to eat’ and ‘supportive family,’ it was clear that our community at Temple Emanuel is very blessed. From there, families used the lists that they had made to think about the sorts of gifts that they might be able to help provide for someone else. From volunteering at a soup kitchen to collecting money for an animal shelter, these gifts, our families decided, would be excellent tzedakah opportunities to try during Hanukkah this year.

This conversation began a few weeks ago between the students and teachers in our Religious School regarding the tzedakah that we collect each week. We heard parents say that they didn’t want our tzedakah collection to begin and end with that dollar from the car, and we agreed. This year, our tzedakah collection will go towards a year-long effort, culminating with Big Sunday (a community-wide day of service taking place this year on May 6, 2012). Each of our Religious School classes has chosen a Big Sunday project to support with their tzedakah, and they look forward to the hands-on connection with the tzedakah they have raised in May. 

As the year continues and we work hard to raise the level and awareness of our focus on tzedakah in the Religious School, we look forward to seeing the way that parents and teachers will partner together to make more meaning out of that moment in the car. 

Perhaps it will begin as our families light their Hanukkah menorahs. AJWS suggests adding the following ritual to your candle lighting and gift giving this year. After saying the traditional Hanukkah candle blessings, consider putting a few coins in the pushke and saying these words:

As we gather by the light of the Hanukkah candles, we are thankful for the many blessings and gifts in our lives. We commit to giving tzedakah so that others may also enjoy these blessings and gifts.

May we continue to have the courage to give generously and the wisdom and patience to give responsibly.

Amen.

Rabbi Sara Mason-Barkin

Another Miracle

OK, it was a little early.  But we lit candles anyway, holding them in our hands (wax dripping) as we shared the gifts we received by our work together.   The group was TAL,  a task force dedicated to Transforming Adult Learning at Temple Emanuel. There were  eighteen diverse congregants, --- younger, older, some with kids in our schools, others with empty nests, some in their 20’s and 30’s, others in their 50’s and 60’s, some  who already study  in our adult education  classes, others who have not been inclined to participate.  We’d been guided by wonderful educators, including our own congregants Lynn Flanzbaum and Dr. Isa Aron,  our Congregational Educator Rabbi Sara Mason Barkin and our intern Beth Lieberman.  We’d met monthly since April expanding our ideas of how we learn.  We thought about the differences in Jewish and secular education, and what the goals of Jewish learning ought to be. We spent a fascinating evening exploring “limiting assumptions,” all those reasons why we “can’t” do things differently.  We discovered that in fact we can think about learning differently --- that it doesn’t have to be a class, that it doesn’t have to happen only at the synagogue. We explored new technologies and how they might enhance learning; we imagined one on one learning, including  different models of mentoring across generations. We asked about reaching out specifically to people at different stages in their lives: parents with school aged children, families around b’nai mitzvah, 20’s and 30’s, baby boomers and   older congregants. We asked where learning can take place outside the congregation, including homes, coffee houses, and board rooms. We talked about partnering with other congregations…and we looked at best practices around the county.

We imagined a future five years from now:  a cohort of 20s and 30’s (young professionals, no kids) getting together once a month at a local club or member’s homes for film screenings, dinner parties or other events that reframe what they love to do into something Jewish. We could see families with school age kids engaging in “anytime” learning…parents of b’nai mitzvah kids learning through videos we’d produce on our website how to do aliyot or explore the meaning of bar mitzvah or the prayer service as they wait for their kids in the lobby of the clergy office. We envisioned  parents and 5-7th graders engaging in a tzedakah collective, learning how to be thoughtful philanthropists, researching organizations, that they wanted to support, training these younger kids to be ready for MATCH, Temple Emanuel’ s successful high school philanthropy program. We imagine mentors or coaches that can guide fellow congregants in designing their own Jewish journeys. And we see bringing together  boomers seeking to navigate or deepen the meaning in life’s transitions sharing some of the spiritual issues around growing older.  And we embraced the idea of discovering DIY (DO IT YOURSELF) Judaism through an online “E-Manual” that offers interactive learning, holiday rituals and everything you might want to know to really “LIVE” Judaism within the context of a community that matters. In the months ahead, this group and other interested congregants will begin to make these dreams come true.

So we each held a candle, and as we placed it in the menorah we shared the gifts that each of us received through TAL. For some it was the new relationships, the excitement of making profound connections with people we hadn’t known before; for others it was learning new technical tools, like Google Docs; for still others it was the learning we did together in each of our gatherings. But for all of us, it was the feeling of making a difference in our synagogue, and helping it become a place that really makes a difference in people’s lives. One member said:  “The greatest gift is to feel that I can be a shamash, the candle that lights other candles, eventually illuminating a synagogue of living Judaism.”


A little early maybe.  But a Hanukkah miracle none the less.

Rabbi Laura Geller

Tough Questions Reform Jews Need To Ask

Next week I am going to the largest Jewish gathering in North America, the Union for Reform Judaism Biennial in Washington, D.C.  Over 5000 people have registered.  Like previous biennials, Reform Jews will learn, pray, share ideas, celebrate, and hear from important guest speakers, including President Obama.  Unlike previous biennials, this one is taking place at a moment of great change.  The future of the North American Jewish community is being shaped by many different forces, including challenges to synagogue affiliation because of economic uncertainty, virtual community, and post denominationalism.  If someone can “buy a bar mitzvah” on line, hire an independent tutor, and rent a rabbi and a Torah scroll, why join a synagogue?  Why should people pay the high cost of membership if all they want is High Holy Day tickets and a rabbi to be there with them for a life-cycle moment?  How can we help people understand that spiritual community can enrich their lives and help them find meaning and purpose? What does it mean to be a Reform Jew in the twenty-first century?  If we were inventing Reform Jewish institutions from the ground up, what would they look like?  What should be the role of the Union for Reform Judaism (URJ), the Central Conference of American Rabbis (CCAR), and the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion (HUC-JIR)?

To address these challenges, the URJ, CCAR, and HUC-JIR have convened a Think Tank consisting of rabbis, cantors, educators, and lay leaders to discuss these major challenges facing the Reform Movement.  I am privileged to serve on this Think Tank.  The questions it struggles with are as fascinating as they are important.  It is important that many voices join the conversation, so in the summer issue of Reform Judaism magazine there were a series of questions posed.  Then, in the most recent issue (which you should have just received), there are a sampling of some of the responses.  Questions include:

 “Do you think we should re-envision our Movement’s scope – and its name – to encompass the majority of liberal Jewry in North America?  If yes, what would you call this Movement?  If no, why not?  Do you agree that one of the best ways to make Reform synagogues and the Reform Movement less vulnerable to economic downturns is to stop depending on membership dues and religious school fees?  What are the best alternatives?  Do you agree that “the supreme challenge” facing the Reform Movement today is “the changing attitude toward affiliation and membership… that people are less committed to organizations of any kind”?  If you agree, how do we tackle this problem? If you disagree, what do you think is the “supreme challenge” and what needs to be done to address it?  Do you believe that that the survival of Reform Judaism in a society “in which the only constant is change [requires] creating a community that stands for something timeless?  If so, what do we stand for that will resonate today and endure?  How can the Reform Movement, which is rooted on the idea of personal autonomy, resonate with all of its members when it incorporates so many diverse theological perspectives and religious practices?  Do congregational rabbis have too many “new and increasingly complex responsibilities to juggle”?  What should their major roles be to assure the Jewish future?

 

Not easy questions. Important questions never are.  Will you join the conversation by clicking on the link below and sharing your thoughts?  It matters to all of us. http://data.urj.org/rjmag/thinktank/

 

Rabbi Laura Geller

Discovering the Secrets of the Corwin Family Sanctuary

The first question on the scavenger hunt read, “In the Torah, God promises that Abraham’s descendants will be as numerous as the stars in the sky. What in our sanctuary reminds you of a starry night sky?” As if on cue, all of the children turned their heads to the ceiling. “You see, it’s like the small lights are the stars and the big light is the moon!” exclaimed a second grader.

Despite the need to brave the rainy day, all of our religious school students enthusiastically participated in our ‘Synagogue Scavenger Hunt’ during our session on Sunday morning. When asked, one young student eloquently explained that it is important to spend time in the newly transformed Corwin Family Sanctuary: “We pray in here, so it is really special.”

The scavenger hunt led students to discover many of the hidden secrets of this space, in which few of them had spent time throughout its previous incarnation. Among other things, they found the letters of the Alef-Bet in the stained glass windows, the Lions of Judah guarding the Aron Ha-Kodesh (ark), the yartzeit walls which help us remember our loved ones, and sculptures of the Ten Commandments and the menorah that graceour bima. For the older students, the challenges were even greater: not only did they need to identify the animals guarding the ark, but they also had to find the verse in the Torah(by looking through  the Torah commentaries  under the chairs) that alludes to the importance of this Jewish symbol.

While many of the students would agree that the sweetest part of the morning was finding the candy that had been left from the previous day’s bat mitzvah, for me there were many sweet moments. One was seeing a group of kindergarten students crowd around Rabbi Geller, asking her questions about the five Torahs in our ark. Another was seeing students bless each other with the priestly benediction, emulating the hands that hold our  solar powered ner tamid (eternal light) over the ark.

We were also lucky that the Greer Social Hall was not set up for a party – but instead, was left empty on Sunday. As it turns out, our elegant and classy banquet space is also a terrific room for kids to run, play and get their ‘shpilkes’ out when our playground is too wet to enjoy!

But the best moment came at the end of the day, when our whole school gathered together for t’fillah (services) in the sanctuary. As the room resounded with the sound of grades Pre-K through twelve singing Oseh Shalom together, they didn’t look like guests, or like kids playing grown-up in someone else’s place. This room has become theirs, like it has become all of ours, thanks to the generosity of so many. No longer just the site of special occasions like High Holy Days or b’nai mitzvah, many more special occasions can now be elevated by the holiness of this space.

We could ask our students to open up the chumashim kept under the chairs in order to find us the chapter and verse, Exodus 25:8. There, they would discover the words that God spoke to the Israelites in the wilderness: “Let them build me a sanctuary that I may dwell among them.”

In these rooms, where children are blessed by their parents, where teenagers become b’nai mitzvah, where our whole community gathers for worship in innovative ways, where we experience life cycle events and other sacred times… in each of these moments, God dwells among us. And together, we have built a space that amplifies the holiness within it.

Rabbi Sara Mason-Barkin